Wednesday, September 27, 2006

things seem so much brighter on the other side

Well here is another Wednesday night that I am sitting in my room like a loser. Wednesdays are like Fridays here at Hendrix. Especially for me--my Thursday class is not until 2:45. Plenty of time to nurse a hangover if it were necessary.

Too bad I don't drink?

The highlight of my week thus far is the letter I received from Ms. Aguayo.

I went to the study abroad information session this evening and learned that I probably won't do the Hendrix at Oxford program. Because financial aid from Hendrix does not transfer over, just federal and state aid--aka only for people who rocked the FAFSA. Do those people even exist? I am beginning to wonder.

My alternative is Hendrix in London, which is FAR CHEAPER and probably easier to do, academically. I was very intrigued by an Athens program that involved intensive Classics study, but it is $18,000 for a semester, which is more costly than one entire year at Hendrix for me. $28,000 for a year, which is twice what it costs me to attend Hendrix for a year. So I don't think it will be possible to go to Athens, despite how AMAZING it sounds. I could design a Classics major and complete it. Seriously. UGH. I hate money, I hate the FAFSA, I hate the fact that even if Austin goes to Hendrix, he probably won't be able to go abroad with me, which will be even worse than going to seperate colleges. The Murphy Foundation of Literature here offers scholarships for Athens abroaders if they intend to take language/literature courses there, but if Austin went it would be for the Economics program, and there aren't any scholarships for that. And it would be selfish of me to drag him along in my Classics obsession. London. London.

I don't know who I am anymore. I'm not good at writing these days. I'm not good at anything except... what... ? I don't even know. I feel like the identity I worked so so so so hard to set in stone for myself before I got here is just slipping away against my will.

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