Wednesday, August 30, 2006

just to show you it's for real

I've been busy, in a way. Until tonight I have been extremely dilligent about my homework, especially in Ancient Greek. Tonight I had a venti chai latte (our union brews Starbucks coffee?!?!?!)and went with Lauren and her friend named Biff or Boff or something to Kroger's and bought supplies for rice krispie treats. We didn't make them though, and I instead had a long conversation with Austin on the phone and then made him... something. Something that took 3 hours, and the coffee has yet to wear off.

I confess.

At first I was getting insanely irritated with my roomate. I held her boyfriend against her, and was mad that she kept moving my pillows from my rug to my bed. Even now that sounds silly. I complained about her and Joe constantly to my other friends, but after yesterday I have completely come around. I was upset and couldn't help but cry, and she hugged me and told me a really personal story to help me out, and it did. Today we ate dinner together (with Joe), and talked for hours while she did her hair and I my Austin-Project. It's nice to not dislike her. I feel like life is getting easier with the people here. I have at least one concrete friend--the other Lauren. Blake (gay, remember?) hangs with us a lot and greets us, "Hey, Laurens." Ashley we see when we can, but she is across campus in the all-girls section (by across campus I mean maybe a 10 minute walk) so it is harder. I don't feel as alone as before.

I have club meetings this week on Thursday, and my Aonian (litmag) interview on the 5th at 4:45. Do I want to apply for an editorship in the yearbook? There are no normal staff positions (except photographers) available. I could take pictures, right?

Apparently we have to be elected to the Social Commitee, and I do not stand a chance. So that is unfortunate. I would have brought indie to Hendrix. Haha. Joking.

A band came from UCA this evening and they were great. I was in the perfect mood for an emotional singer/songwriter. I bought his CDs. Want a copy? Email me.

I lost about ten pounds between leaving home and last Thursday. Between Thursday and now I have gained five pounds. It's because I have succomb to snacks and the cafeteria's french fries. Must lose weight, rawr. Considering auditing the kickboxing class or joining the pick-up volleyball games every other evening or so.

Tomorrow I will walk to Walgreens and back, and then again on Thursday. This should help (monumentally). With my iPod or Blake and Lauren, this should not be TOO long a walk.

Home in almost two weeks!


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Lauren and Lauren! This is the cafeteria.

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Susanna is the girl who is not me. On Friday for whatever reason there was a candlelit dinner?

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Kim and I posing in front of our door. Note the dinosaur nametags.

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Lauren and Ashley in my room. We were "studying."

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Kim and her hated Calculus.

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Ashley stuffing her face with popcorn. Mmm.

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Some cute guy and the moosie I left in his safekeeping until... someday.

Next time: a picture of Blake, who does exist, I swear!

Saturday, August 26, 2006

look at all the lonely people

Campus is empty.
Laura and Lauren and I are going to go shopping at antique stores, I hope.
Shirt tails is tonight, and a band is playing.
Busy, tomorrow I need to study a lot of Greek.
I was feeling awful but Austin cheered me on the phone. Yay. Still wish my boyfriend were here, especially since my roomate has hers.

Friday, August 25, 2006

believing is art

Activities I signed up for:

College Republicans
Literary Magazine
Super Sober Society
Model United Nations
Student Congress
Philosophy Club
History Club


and I don't mind braving the coldest winter of our lives

I got a facebook message yesterday:

"Hi, Lauren. I've been spending some time this semester trying to pick out all of the good freshman, well, the bad too, but only so that I can avoid them.

Anyway, you caught my eye when I was reading in front of Couch today, and not in a creepy, I was ogling you, kind of way either. Just a genuine interest in meeting you. I would have come over and introduced myself, but being assertive isn't really my forte.

I would love if you would hang out with me and my friends sometime. I even live in a Front Street apartment, so we have couches and the like. Trying to fit a whole group of friends into a dorm room comfortably was always such a challenge.

Well, I'm just rambling now, so I'll spare you any more reading. Message me or something. Let's be friends."

That's interesting.

I have a friend whose name is also Lauren, and we are getting involved in something called Poetry in Motion. It combines poetry and dancing, and we are going to be writers/technical assistance. That should be nice, something to do.


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This is from Orientation. I'm on the bottom row, just about right in the middle. The girl in the hat next to me is Kelsey, who is also doing Poetry in Motion, and went to Westwood High School. Laura and Blake, the bloke I talked to for all of lunch about sonnets one time and have been hanging out with every day, are standing right behind me. The 4th girl on the top row is Stefani, who I sometimes eat with, and the girl to her right is Susanna, who I have two classes with. She is very nice and loves Star Wars.

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This is Laura and me on the us from Eureka Springs.

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A nice girl named Cassidy (in the blue tank top in the first picture) took this picture of me and Blake before the orientation pep rally. I am wearing Kelsey's coat because I was wet from playing in the rain outside and it was freezing inside. Blake is the bloke who is dancing on my right.

So you sort of have some pictures. Today I will try to take a couple of more.

Being away from Austin is hard, but I've decided that we will survive and people may eat their words about high school romances.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

I want something else to get me through this

I've got to got to got to got to got to get of here

I like my classes so far. Mostly. I like my Greek/Mythology teacher--he's a dork, like me. My Greek class is tiny, and I have a feeling I'm the most earnestly enthusiastic person in there. My Mythology class was full of lame people, and it really was full. Only one person in there besides me had ever read the Iliad, and there was this super-loud girl who I suspect is my peer mentor who never showed up for the meetings. She kept shouting things out in this horrible voice that was very self-assuredly BOOMING. She obviously thought we all REALLY needed to pay attention to her. Explorations is boring.

So, the problem here is not going to be the classes. I did my homework for Journeys in about an hour and a half. It consisted of reading Plato and taking notes to answer specific questions about philosophy. Yay.

But really, the people aren't the problem, either. Some people are great, and they are seriously interested in their academic pursuits. I spent an entire lunch discussing the differences between Shakespearean and Patrarchian sonnets with a gay guy named Blake. That part of the people here is great.

I guess the problem is me. I miss Austin (the person), and now that the upperclassmen are back there are a lot more couples. Oftentimes I feel inadequate. We were supposed to be learning a dance to perform on Saturday (we being the girls of my dormitory--Couch), but after the first serious rehearsal last night I quit. I hated it. Skinny girls in tiny shorts doing weird dance moves, led by this blonde whose UCA boyfriend kept coming in and staring at us. I hated it. I kept thinking that she was blonde and dumb and if we were challengers in a poetry contest, I would win. But I don't know if I actually would. I just think things like that to make myself feel better.

I need to do laundry soon. I'm a little scared of it.

Monday, August 21, 2006

I lied my face off when I said that I would be okay.

I'm sure you would all love to hear about my OR trip to Eureka Springs, but that's not really what I would "love" to tell you about.

(I feel like this blog may become an outlet for my complaints, and so I apologize ahead of time...)

The trip was fun, in a way. There were some neat people, but there were also some people who formed their own 'exclusive' group and that always irritates me. What, like I'm not hipster enough for you? Well sod off, I am hip to someone, somewhere, I hope.

One girl took three hours in the morning to do her hair and make-up. While we were in the wilderness. Seriously. She was one of the skinniest people I have ever seen, and everything she wore was Abercrombie, and she would not talk to anyone except the boy who was (I think) her boyfriend. She looked down her nose at all of us. And I couldn't stand it.

The wildlife preserve was awful. Too hot, and too long. The lions and tigers and panthers all began to look the same. We were on foot with no water and I was in boots.

Downtown Eureka Springs was nice. Laura and I could not find a thrift store, but we spent quite a while in an antique shop run by an old lady who kept giving us large discounts.

This morning we went swimming in a lake on our way back to college, and that was nice. I played frisbee with some people in the water. It rained on the 4 hour drive back.

I was awful lonely when we returned--it felt like everyone returned to their previous friends and I was left to fend for myself again. The other Lauren and me had a long two hour or so conversation outside at a table and that was nice. It was the first time that anyone here seemed genuinely interested in knowing anything about me.

Then I phoned my parents, and then Austin. A police officer walked into the Burrow while I was crying after I'd gotten off the phone, and was very polite and pretended not to notice. I walked back to my dorm, where Kim and Joe were asleep together on her bed and I took a shower. While I was drying off, a girl and a boy came into the restroom and the girl screamed at him for acting strangely while smoking pot. They were both drunk and stoned. He "only took two hits, baby," but it was enough to make her ask him over and over if he was healthy. His "eyes had been closed out on the fire escape and [he] hadn't responded to anyone." This, she screamed, "IS NOT COOL."

So now the hallway smells like pot (I thought that was what it was), and I came back into the room and they were still watching Breakfast at Tiffany's and now it is 1:18 and after crying in the Burrow and crying in the shower, I am ready to sleep.

Friday, August 18, 2006

I console myself that Hallmark cards are true. (I really do).

Well I went to Target yesterday with Laura and her roomate Elizabeth and that was probably the most fun I've had with people since arriving here. Also I have discovered that my roomate Kim and I have the tiniest room on campus. Everywhere I go, the rooms get larger. That's ok. I like my cozy corner.

Laura and I also explored and found the swimming pool. Once we find out when it is open, we will go there and swim laps. It was kind of weird, because we saw this little kid who must've been about 7 or 8 coming from the gym, and then when we went inside we found the pool but could not get in from anywhere. Creepy little kid.

Today we leave for our Orientation trips. Laura and I are both going to Eureka Springs, which has been labeled the fluff trip. Oh well. I would rather be on a fluff trip than get a reputation for freaking out on a canoeing trip because I thought I saw a shark.

We are going swimming and shopping. Also we are riding a cart through a wildlife preserve of large wild kitties. Like, you know, Hobbes in real life. Aka tigers and lions and I'll bring my Teddy Bear, oh my!

Last night my Teddy fell my bed and I almost screamed. Poor Teddy.

I bought envelopes at Target, so EXPECT MAIL. But only if I have your address.

I need addresses of the following:

Basically, if you read this and aren't Gerber, Megan, or Alex Fu-- email it to me.

In case I forgot to mention, my roomate has a boyfriend already. Yep. So that's... a lot of adjectives. I miss Austin.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

death of an interior decorator

My dorm looks like this.

it's only fear that keeps you locked up in here

I set up my schedule today.

semester 1

10:10-11am= 19th Century American Authors
11:10-12pm= Ancient Greek
12-1pm= break (lunch!)
1:10-2pm= Journeys

10:10-11am= Explorations
11:10-12pm= Ancient Greek
12-2:45= break (lunch!)
2:45pm-4pm= Classical Mythology

same as Monday

2:45pm-4pm= Classical Mythology

same as Monday

semester 2
8:10am-9= Ethics and Medicine
12:10-1= Ancient Greek
1:10-2= Plants and Human Affairs
2:10-3= Chaucer's Canterbury Tales

8:10-11= Plants and Human Affairs lab
12:10-1= Ancient Greek

same as Monday


same as Monday

I wanted to take Brit Lit During Modernism. The computer was weird and said it didn't exist next semester, but I am positive that it does. So I have it as an alternate course for Chaucer, but no one will ever take Chaucer, ever. Haha.

The thing is, I am not that excited about anything besides Ancient Greek, Classical Mythology, and Ethics and Medicine. This is all wrong for me, because these are not English classes. But Chaucer and any type of American Lit just do not sound appetizing to me. Also, the English teacher I need to get on the good side of is not teaching the classes I signed up for. Most of her classes were full.

Classes aside, I am lonely today.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

get your hands out of her hair

People here are already becoming couples. I can't believe/stand it.

My peer leaders told us about 'the dorm dick.' The senate representative from one of the boys' dorms walks around campus with a notebook and a camera and records things that end up being posted around campus--on the back of bathroom stalls. And it is tradition for them to have "hot freshman of the week." I reazlise this is all in fun and jest or whatever, but I don't think, knowing myself, that I can be good-natured about it and not get offended or feel ugly.

My roomate is lying in bed with a boy right now. Maybe it's all in friendliness. It might be. Probably is. But it still makes me feel like a total wallflower. (Because that doesn't happen often enough).

"Basically I'll become very acquainted with the library."

These are the words of Joseph (Joe), a friend of my roomate. His roomate is a scifi freak [of nature]. Eek. I am much better off.

I have been so busy. Not necessarily in a good way. We've done a lot of useless things that have been either in rooms that are way too cold, or outside, where it is more humid than in Austin (le gasp!). I can't wait to actually start taking classes and studying. I feel like Hermione (and I kinda like it).

I've met some people. It's hard for me to really start liking them and stuff, because I may never see them again. I mean, if they aren't English people we will never have classes together. And usually friends come from classes (remember?). I will use more details once I feel like I will actually get to know these people. I am trying not to get attached.

My orientation "adventure" is to go to Eureka Springs. We will be going swimming and shopping and to a wildcat preserve. I didn't pack any shorts, so I don't really know how I will manage this wilderness expedition. In skirts and band shirts. Woo.

A kid (he was definitely gay) told me yesterday that I am "scene." He was from Memphis. Maybe there "scene" is a synonym for "indie." Haha.

Tomorrow my schedule will be finalized and I will post it on here. I took the placement exam for French this morning and it seriously squeezed my brain. I couldn't remember stuff like the imperfect tense, so we'll see. Maybe I will give up French... but I like it so much... yargh?

Monday, August 14, 2006

and the oil fields shine


So here I am, in the hotel lobby in Conway. Oh shit, I move in at 8am.

By the way, this template isn't done yet. It looks fine on my laptop but I hear it is awful on desktops.

The drive took forever. The same amount of time as it takes to fly from New York City to Berlin. I mostly slept, and then read all of my favorite young teenager book, Bloomability. It made me excited about college because it involves 13 year olds at a boarding school in Switzerland. I can't wait to do similar things to what they did--minus skiing. Pretty sure it doesn't snow that much here.

I went to WalMart and Office Depot. I am stocked up with PopTarts and comp books. And my iPod is being updated to the crapload of music as stolen from Clara, Megan, and Stephen.


Except for one thing. Meeting new people.

I haven't really had to make new friends since... ever? I always met people through people. Kealing and LBJ were easy like that. Now the only people I know here are: Laura- new like me. And Kingsley=pothead. So... brand new surroundings.

And then there's the whole co-ed dormitory thing. Frightened. Very frightened. Please don't smell like summer camp. Then again, it is called Couch, so it may be worth it.