Monday, June 16, 2008

Strangely enough, after that nostalgic blog entry below, I received a mysterious (and wordless) email from Ben that contained an mp3 to a song in Spanish. I'm still trying to figure out what it means. I went to but because it makes my life easier I am not thinking about it. All I can say is that sending me little messages like this (the last was a package of some of my clothes from 9th grade that had no note and was postmarked from New York) is not alright--it seriously fucks with me psychologically because I know it has to mean something (he was the one who taught me that belief!) and I don't know what. I am not the type of girl you never get over. Am I? Me? Chubby little faux-poet with literary aspirations? I'm pretty quirky. I might be unforgettable, and god knows I've stirred up some weird emotions in people, but I never saw myself (really) as that girl who is impossible to fall out of love with. And even if he thinks he is still in love with me (if he really even was to begin with), it's not ok to do these sorts of things when I have a boyfriend. It's just as bad as what Gina did with Austin, if not even worse.

This morning I received a facebook message from Blake. He is not in fact ignoring me and is not mad at me, just not quite sure, apparently, how to tell me that I may not have anywhere to live when I get back to Hendrix in the spring from London! I don't know how to talk about this one right now, because my feelings are so intense on the subject.

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